Mammon's the man: God considers nullifying rainbow contract

Mammon is the Lord of Avarice. Originally, the term "mammon" was a Syrian word that stood for riches or wealth. Later on, the Bible demonized mammon into Mammon, the evil personification of riches, avarice and worldly gain. Thus continued the eternal battle of good vs. gold. So saith Matt. 6:24 of the Holy Scriptures, "Ye can not serve God and Mammon."

We were given this ultimatum tens of hundreds of years ago from the very highest levels. Since then, I think we've chosen pretty wisely. We live in a world that's full of baubles and money. More people recognize the name Bill Gates than do John Paul II. Wealth and its host of displays are still the ultimate status symbol. The few remaining pockets of opposition to our glorious secular planet are mostly destroyed, chanting hollow catchphrases. They are people who just don't understand how important it is to be as rich as possible. The Gospel has taken asylum in the Bible Belt, and the anarchists are mostly living in Idaho or something.

Meanwhile, in the fashionable world, a living work of art is in progress. Our civilization is a canvas that holds the sum of our actions. It is well-gilt, dotted with MasterCard logos, gold bullion and garnished with all the currencies of the Earth. Our Emerald City is in there, proof that we in Seattle are doing our bit for King and Country. Elsewhere on this masterpiece, diabolical struggles for power cast streaks of vibrant color across the montage, while the businesses of the nations have painted cornerstones, supporting a dais atop which stands the Golden Calf. And Lord Mammon sits atop it all, his visage encrusted with diamonds and rubies.

Monty Python said it best: "There's so very much left to own."

We don't need to move away from materialism. We need to empower it and add to our possessions, buy more, more, more! Not only is it possible to own more than ever before in our technological age of science and industry, it is also morally good to do so! This is a great bargain, folks, and there's only one catch to the whole thing.

All you have to do is be prudent in what you buy. Don't buy crap. It's no harder than that. Buy stuff that you'll really use, adore and benefit from. Save your money and buy wonderful things that will truly make you happier, wiser and better as a human being.

I sometimes hear silly people suggest that material possessions are detrimental to human life. That's a load of hogwash. As always, it is human intelligence and good common sense that makes a thing good or bad. We could choose to fill our lives up with clutter and empty opulence, or we could just as easily choose to fill our lives with the sweets of life. For myself, the books I own, the computer, the exquisite foreign cappuccino, the glasses, the coats and shoes, the keyboard, the artwork and the Sept. 23 front page Seattle Times newspaper photo of Olympic gold medalist Megan Quann are all things which greatly improve the quality of my life in one way or another.

Kahlua deserves its own paragraph.

Own wonderful things that last, not trash that rots. The world will be a grim, smoggy place if we consume all our resources on the latest fads. It will make big money for people who profit by exploiting the ignorance and gullibility of the public. It will further the subjugation of the lower classes by locking them and their thin resources into goods and services they don't truly need. Worst of all, it will prove the point of the Mississippians and the Idahoans: Materialism is a degenerative malaise. If you spend your money well, you'll be happier for it. Tell your friends, don't waste your time on Dawson's Creek when Mobil Masterpiece Theater is on! Tell your kids, what better way to induct them into a world of art by showing them the Kurosawa's Dreams or Spielberg's Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, not The Emperor's New Groove.

Clean out your lives, not by discarding your wonderful trinkets, but by discarding the salted salmon eggs and doubling your horde of fine Beluga caviar. Recycle out the junk, bring in the gold. What we own is synonymous with what we control --we control what we own -- and control is a measure of power. Power lends itself to personal freedom and to the advancement of civilization, for better or for worse. I'd rather live in a golden land than a junky one.

Mammon has won, my friends. We live in a world of possessions. I live a Spartan lifestyle but I treasure what I own, and I wouldn't have it any other way. To denounce the world around me would be a foolish denial of reality. I urge you all to save as much as you can, perhaps a fifth of your income, until you graduate from college. Then, go out and buy something absolutely wonderful.