UW professor begins book tour

John Gottman, a UW professor of psychology, will begin promoting his new book, The Relationship Cure, Wednesday with an appearance on NBC's Today Show.

Gottman, who has been a professor at the UW since 1986, has written 119 academic articles and 36 books. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Gottman's last book, was a New York Times bestseller.

Gottman and his wife, Julie Schwartz Gottman, founded the Gottman Institute and the Family Research Laboratory, sometimes referred to as the "Love Lab." Gottman's research has earned him a number of awards, including four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards.

Unlike many of the past books, the new book is not just for couples. Rather, The Relationship Cure covers the emotional content of all close relationships, ranging from family to work, according to Gottman.

"Whether people are struggling to save a marriage, to cooperate in a family crisis, or to build rapport with a difficult boss, they usually have one thing in common: They need to share emotional information that can help them feel connected," said Gottman.

Gottman identifies seven dimensions of emotional connection in The Relationship Cure.

One of the most important elements discussed by Gottman is bidding for attention. The book draws on the observations in the Love Lab to prove there is a link between seemingly trivial interactions and the quality of relationships.

Gottman points out that a typical happy couple having dinner will engage each other up to 100 times every 10 minutes, while struggling couples engaged only 65 times.

"The contrast may seem inconsequential," said Gottman, "but taken together over a year, the additional moments of connection among happy couples would be enough to fill a Russian novel."

In his book, Gottman introduces the "emotion bid," which is the most basic level of emotional connection. Making and receiving bids builds relationships. Although the book includes many tips, including advice on reading facial expressions, Gottman hopes to help the reader do five things important to good relationships.

First, analyze the way one bids and the ways to respond to others' bids.

Second, discover how the brain's emotional command system affects the bidding process.

Third, examine how emotional heritage impacts the ability to connect with others.

Fourth, develop emotional communication skills.

Fifth, deepen emotional connections with others through exploration of shared meaning and dreams.

The Relationship Cure was co-written by Joan DeClaire, who has worked with Gottman on numerous other books, and published by Crown Books. Gottman will be on tour through June to promote the book that is on the shelves now.