Summer music

I had it all figured out. After being informed by my three or four loyal readers that my content had been, ahem, "slippin'" over this past quarter, I planned to make this final article of the year something really special. A piece of literary gold that would be hung on the offices of The Daily for years. Editors would drool over it, journalism students (naturally) would hate it and the public would be throwing elbows at every Daily drop-off location to get its hands on a copy.

Then the World Cup happened.

If you don't have World Cup fever yet, then you obviously are going to class way too much. You've also probably been getting eight hours of sleep. Suckers. Anyways, let's just say I've been a little preoccupied lately to come at you with the hard-hitting final article of my dreams. Let's also say, just for the record: Go England.

So, umm, who's ready for a summer concert preview?!

June 19: Mary J. Blige @ Key Arena. This would be the perfect concert for the recent graduate from the School of Drama.

July 6: Counting Crows, The Who @ The Gorge. A bunch of washed-up has-beens trying to milk out a little more money on the road before it's too late. And then a set by The Who.

July 12: The Breeders, Imperial Teen @ Showbox. This looks like it could be the hipster show of the summer. It's so hard to wear all black when the sun is out, eh?

July 19: KUBE 93 Summerjam @ the Gorge. Just wanna hype this one up for a second. Why? A few weeks from now, when your stoner buddy/rush trip/junior high-age brother needs tickets for this, they'll be SOL. That's when they'll find my tickets on eBay. This also applies to Dave Matthews at the Gorge Sept. 6, 7 and 8, by the way. Thank you, Dave and KUBE ... you'll be sending me on vacation this summer.

July 29: Cher, Cyndi Lauper @ Key Arena. Run -- don't walk -- away from this. It won't be funny. Don't try and be hip or ironic. Just stay away.

Aug. 4: Cake, Flaming Lips, De La Soul @ The Pier. Run -- don't walk -- to this. Someone, probably while high (De La, we're looking in your direction), put together a shockingly eclectic festival. What will the focus groups think? While I don't think Cake's longevity will ever make sense to me, I'll take this over, say, End Fest, any day.

August 6: Area: 2 @ the Gorge. If Moby's people have managed to fix the problems that crippled Area: 1 last year (and that's a pretty big if), this might be all right. Once again, there is top-flight DJ talent (DJ Dan, Dieselboy, Digweed) to be found on the electronic side of things. The question is, will you be able to get into the Electronic Tent and see it? Mainstage-wise, Ash will be criminally overlooked as the opener. Will the baggy-pants crew be interested in seeing David Bowie or Blue Man Group? Moby's new album hasn't made much of a buzz. Looks like the car manufacturers have moved on.

Aug. 10: John Mayer @ Paramount Theater OR Chris Isaak @ the Pier. Sweet Jesus. Human cloning has already begun. And they have the same tour itineraries.

And now, five albums to be excited about this summer. They're all good. I've listened to them. Trust me on these:

Ash: Free All Angels (June 24). Finally! I hope Area: 2 gives these Irish rockers the exposure they deserve in this country. There are so many hits on this record, even the B-sides could hit the charts. This might be my favorite record of the past year.

Nelly: Nellyville (June 25). Hee hee. There's no such place as Nellyville. I-am-get-ting-so-hot ... I-may-take-my-clothes-off. Even if you don't buy this, you'll hear it all summer.

Oasis: Heathen Chemistry (July 2). If it were 1998, this record would be camping out at the top of the charts. Oasis finally put down the coke and got back to what it does best: playing like the Beatles instead of acting like The Stones.

Silverchair: Diorama (July 30). I know what you're thinking. Yes, Silverchair sucked for many, many years. But the kiddies are all grown up now, and they've made a startling amount of growth on this new record. Many of the tracks were produced with former Beach Boys collaborator Van Dyke Parks, and his stamp is all over this. Forget what you know and give this a spin.

Various Artists: A Tribute to Britney Spears V.2 (July 2). All right. Maybe there were really only four albums I wanted to talk about. My bad.