A message from the opinion desk

In the first brainstorming meeting between the editor in chief and myself, we decided that the opinion section needed to have a focus that was a little closer to home. We can't shed new light on the Israel and Palestine conflict and we can't cover the lingering affects of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) in China. We can however focus on subjects directly related to the average student at the UW. I myself am an average student, so this column is all about me.

I've been thrust into the job of opinion editor, without much history of voicing my own opinions in The Daily. I decided that, this being the first day of school, I would take this opportunity to get a few of my opinions down in print -- just for the record.

1) Heating up ready-made cookie dough is not baking. Just as driving a recreational vehicle into the woods is not camping.

2) As a rule, I dislike anyone handing out anything -- pamphlets, free coke, coupons, anything.

3) A dog the size of a cat is a waste of space.

4) If there isn't a score, it's not a sport. Running a marathon, as athletic and strenuous as it is, is not a sport: it's an activity. A hard activity, but an activity none-the-less.

5) It is impossible to tip a cow. I grew up in Zillah, Wash. We have cows there and I've tried, in vain.

6) Being fashionable is too much work and too much money. Being fashionably late is cheap and easy.

7) No matter how much they try to prepare us for college, our parents can't solve all of our problems.

8) Mayonnaise is the least sexy condiment. Reddi-whip tops that list.

9) It's impossible to learn anything in a class of 800 people, at least anything that will be on the comprehensive final.

10) No college-educated person should ever end a sentence with "like," "whatever" and "you know."

11) Swimming in Lake Washington will give you a rash, if not some sort of internal parasite.

12) Twinkies and soap operas rot your brain.

That gives you enough information about my views to understand a bit better why the opinion section is the way it will be this quarter. The columnists and cartoonists don't necessarily share my exact thoughts, but they can put a few decent sentences together -- without extra apostrophes.

Today is the first day of school. And in traditional first-day style, there are huge lines at every copy center within a five-mile radius, streams of students wandering around campus looking at signs and maps to find that last illusive classroom, and even us "experienced" students wondering what to do with the rest of our lives.

Have no fear -- Amy is here. Amy Peloff, an honest-to-goodness adviser in the Comparative History of Ideas Program, will grace our pages every Thursday answering any question you have for her, from choosing a major to choosing a restaurant for dinner, Amy can solve your problem with the wit and wisdom that she's picked up over the years.

Free-speech Friday continues for yet another year. Look for the same Collective Soul logo, in all his screaming grace, introducing the days we loosen our letter-length limits and try tackling issues from all angles at once, like a D-line blitz.

Wednesdays look for the opinion section to focus in on a matter critical to our complicated college lives.

As you read this section throughout the quarter and find things that either tickle your funny bone, put you to sleep, or piss you off, write me a letter and tell me about it. It'll either tickle my funny bone, put me to sleep or piss me off.