A very microwavable Thanksiving

Fifty-nine years ago, engineer Percy Spencer found that microwave energy could be used to cook food. It began as an accident -- a candy bar melted in his pocket when he was conducting an experiment with radar waves -- and later turned into an invention that sparked a multi-billion dollar industry of microwave cooking.

Three days ago, The Daily staff utilized this rapid method of heating food to put out a full-fledged Thanksgiving dinner. Equipped solely with a microwave oven, plastic utensils borrowed from the HUB and a $15 budget, the team whipped up a traditional fare that can be duplicated in any dorm room over the holiday weekend. The findings were then rated on a five-yum scale.

If you can't make the trip home for the day of feasting, you won't be without a homemade smorgasbord of November's finest fare. As one staff member proclaimed upon devouring the featured courses, "It's good to know that Thanksgiving isn't limited to those who own an oven. This is the great equalizer."

Main course

Staff rating: Yum, yum, yum, yum

The problem with making the turkey the star of the Thanksgiving meal is that grocery stores carry 20-pound birds that feed entire dinner parties. Combine with the fact that this is expensive for the typical student ($20 on average), it guarantees a quarter's worth of turkey leftovers to smell up a dorm fridge, and it takes all day to cook.

The solution is a Cornish game hen, which is a really young chicken and weighs about two pounds. The game hen is a mini version of the gobbler and will perfectly serve two people. While the butcher at the market will laugh at you if you ask how long to cook the game hen in a microwave, do not be swayed: It can be done. And the results are surprisingly tender and tasty, according to a staff consensus.

Cut the bird along the center with a plastic knife and place in a microwavable container. If one is not available, a paper plate works well. Do not attempt to cook the bird in the paper it is wrapped in, as it will catch on fire and cause the microwave to short. Dab on a tablespoon of margarine; zap on high for five minutes, then on low for seven more minutes. Your dinner guests will no doubt respond like one of our samplers: "Delish -- better than expected. Microwave is the way to go."

Cost: $3.21

You will need: A microwavable dish, plastic knife, 1 tbs. margarine

Total time: 13 minutes

Calories per serving: 208 calories

Fat: 9 grams

Stuffing

Staff rating: Yum, yum, yum

 Forget days of living off Top Ramen, The Daily staff has found an untapped resource in Kraft Stove Top stuffing, a food so cost-effective that you could eat it every day for an entire quarter and your total grocery bill would cometo $73.50.

In addition to cheaply filling you up (hence the name), this stuff is the nation's classic compliment to the main dish featured above. It is also the easiest part of the meal to prepare. Just add mix to hot water in a paper bowl, along with a tablespoon of margarine if you want to opt for gourmet, and fluff with a plastic fork.

While three of the tasters complained that the stuffing was "chewy," the flavor was given several thumbs up. Cook's tip: When the stuffing starts to harden, just add more water. It's like one of those magic, expanding towels, and it will puff right back up.

Cost: $1.05

You will need: Container, 1 Tbs. margarine, plastic fork, hot water

Total time: 2 minutes

Calories per serving: 310

Fat: 10 grams

Yams

Staff rating: Yum, yum

Some people get really excited at the prospect of yams. Others see them as nutritious members of the vegetable family and will shove their plates away in protest, no matter what a person does to spruce them up. This includes sprinkling mini colored marshmallows on the top.

And so it was with the yam dish at this Thanksgiving feast: Some people loved them, others hated them. A can of yams runs for approximately $1, and it requires the minimal effort of opening the can and putting the contents on a plate. It can be argued that the canned yams tasted like baby food and the melted colored marshmallows were freakish. But even the staunchest of veggie haters had to give the dish props, citing that they were pretty decent and added to the holiday cheer.

Cots: $2.60

You will need: Can opener, paper plate, plastic fork

Total time: 3 minutes

Calories per serving: 250

Fat: 0 grams

Mashed Potatoes

Staff rating: Yum, yum, yum, yum

Inside sources (that is to say, mothers who cook) have informed the staff that there are several types of potatoes, but that they can be grouped into two types: those best for baking and those ideal for boiling and mashing.

However, there is a third genre that mom didn't mention. It comes in a package and is made of cheap dried potato flakes. The preparers opted to buy the garlic-spiced version in hopes that the spices would cover up the anticipated chemical aftertaste of such flaked potato.

Even though all it took was adding mix and cold water to a coffee cup, a swirl with a plastic spoon and a few moments in the rapid cooking machine, the creamy flavorful dish was deemed "a gourmet dish on a paper plate."

You can make mashed potato ghosts out of the leftovers, which can be displayed on the table as creative enrichment.

Cost: $1.11

You will need: Two coffee cups, two cups cold water, and plastic spoon

Total time: 5 minutes

Calories per serving: 220

Fat: 5 grams

Gravy

Staff rating: Yum ... um?

Many grandmothers have stressed about the consistency of their gravy, the exact saltiness, the perfect texture between lumpy and thin. But thanks to a little 50-cent packet, humans no longer have to slave away over the open stove in pursuit of the ideal semblance of sauce. Well, that's the idea anyway.

The gravy proved to be more difficult than adding water to the mix, a system that proved victorious for other menu items. Armed with a plastic fork in lieu of a whisk, the staff never quite got the gravy powder to mix with the water. After four minutes of microwave madness, the gravy never thickened and never really got warm. Sensing defeat, the chefs set it aside in hopes that it would find some inspiration in the paper cup and thicken. It never did. Many concurred that it was like putting liquid salt on mashed potatoes, while sodium lovers defended it in the name of Thanksgiving. Cook's tip: Omit it -- unless you are a traditionalist, in which case, drink a lot of water upon intake.

Cost: $0.50

You will need: Cold water, coffee cup, plastic fork to whisk

Total time: 5 minutes

Calories per serving: 40

Fat: 0 grams

Dessert

Staff rating: Yum ... hmm ...

The largest pumpkin pie ever made was five feet in diameter and weighed 350 pounds. The grossest pumpkin pie ever made never went in the oven and cost about $2. 



"It looks like death, I'm not going to lie," stated one staff member.   While the Jell-O no bake pumpkin-style pie seemed like the ideal way to cap off an all-microwave meal, the real-life product was a combination of goo and gag.

The marvel of cooking a pie without an oven cannot go unnoticed, however, and the staff was sensitive in noting that those who are starving would probably eat the lumpy goop anyway. It did, after all, taste better than it looked.

The mama's boy in the group couldn't take the massacre of a holiday classic and proclaimed, "It's just no pumpkin pie."

Cost: $2.04

You will need: Cheap pie pan, two cups milk, plastic fork to whisk, refrigerator, coffee cup, 8 packets of equal, 5 tbs. butter

Total time: 1 hour

Calories per serving: 250

Fat: 1.5 grams

Taking into account that all the dishes came from a box and were brought to life by microwave energy, it was The Daily staff's conclusion that microwave Thanksgiving was actually a very impressive meal.

Some might say it was a tour-de-force of flavor, and while it's not quite mom's cooking, it is satisfying if you can't go home. So gather together some plastic utensils from your nearest eatery and rally around your dorm floor microwave. You'll be amazed what you can do with such little money and time.

Editors note: No Daily staffers were food poisoned, injured or killed from the making of this microwave dinner. We urge you to please cook responsibly.