Christmas CDs score variety of ratings

Every holiday season many favorite (or not-so-favorite) artists feel compelled to celebrate with tidings of comfort, joy and new holiday albums. Which should deck the halls, and which should be roasted over an open fire? Here's a briefing of Christmas music that can be found on store shelves this season.

Ratings are based on a scale of one to eight reindeer.

Jessica Simpson-Rejoyce, The Christmas Album

Columbia-2004

Jessica Simpson can sing, very well in fact, so why doesn't she? As a trained gospel singer, the woman has a set of pipes that could rival any church organ in Texas, but throughout Rejoyce, Simpson consistently backs away from hitting the most powerful notes of familiar Christmas classics in favor of wispy, breathy, far less commanding tones. Additionally, the musical arrangements chosen sound more like Casio keyboard creations than anything done in a real studio. Her rendition of "O Holy Night" is by far the album's best single, and proves to be the one shot listeners have of hearing Simpson's true vocal range. Frankly, it is beautifully done. The duet with husband Nick Lachey of "Baby It's Cold Outside" is charming, and the brass band accompaniment did some justice to Simpson's vocal capabilities. Sadly, no musical feat could undo the damage done by Simpson's "Little Drummer Boy" duet with sister Ashlee. No, she has no gift to bring...

Overall: four reindeer

Stevie Wonder-20th Century Masters: The Christmas Collection

Motown-2004

One listen to Stevie Wonder's Christmas collection and you'll be a believer. Wonder works wonders with a number of Christmas classics, including a particularly striking "Silver Bells" and a jazzy, jingling, jiving "What Christmas Means to Me." Bet you've never heard "Ave Maria" accompanied by a harmonica either. A few of the lesser-known songs, such as "Bedtime for Toys," seem only to take up album space, but even with Jack Frost nipping at noses, Wonder's "Christmas Song" is nothing if not warm and comforting. Classics infused with flair and swaggering soul, Wonder walks in a winter wonderland just wonderfully.

Overall: Seven reindeer

Shimmy Down the Chimney-A Country Christmas

Capitol-2004

This compilation of some of country's best-known artists provides coverage of pretty much every staple Christmas hit you could think of, but it will leave listeners disappointed. Now, it is understood that with country music comes overtly twangy guitars and talk of trucks, girl troubles and being short on cash. But on a Christmas CD? Apparently Toby Keith's diamond-hungry girl wants "a Christmas rock, but Santa's pockets ain't got no roll..." Poor Toby. She also doesn't "want no pots and pans," "long-night shirt," or anything "from Sears." Tanya Tucker's "What Child is This?" sounds much like those singing Jingle Dogs, only the Jingle Dogs sang well. But the album is not a complete loss. John Berry makes the night divine with an impressive display of vibrato in "O Holy Night," which is only enhanced by a beautiful background chorus and a perfect medley of piano and violin. SheDaisy amps up "Deck the Halls" with a kick in the tempo, a dusting of guitar and a blend of sweet voicesm. Dolly Parton sings "Rudolph" with children. Now if only we could determine which voices belonged to the children.

Overall: One reindeer

Barenaked Ladies-Barenaked for the Holidays

Desparation Records-2004

Someone let the boys from north of the border into the cookies and eggnog, eh? Actually, sugar and alcohol can't be blamed for characteristic Barenaked Ladies' fa-la-laughs, and Barenaked For the Holidays is an album that surely won't disappoint even the biggest Grinch. Ever consider the career aspirations of an elf? Probably not, but that's exactly what the BNL did in the sprightly "Elf's Lament," which tells the tale of dead-end employment in Santa's workshop. Their duet with Sarah McLachlan of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman" spices up a typically somber carol, and their cover of Band Aid's 1980's hit "Do They Know it's Christmas?" reminds us of what global goodwill used to sound like. Original tune, "Hanukkah Blessings," and the classics "Oh Hanukkah" and "I Have a Little Dreidel" pay homage to a celebration not quite so saturated with popular holiday songs. "Snowman" is another original song with a more serious tone, and rounds a track listing that's as pleasing as the term "snow day."

Overall: Eight reindeer