Revamp dating

I'm just going to say it: Dating is one of the most bizarre social habits of our time.

Rather than use a courting system designed to make clear our intentions toward the other person, we instead operate under a system in which confusion and miscommunication are commonplace. Do we approach the object of our affection and directly inform them of our interest? No.

The rules of modern dating tell us to make eyes at other people while they are not looking and wait three weeks to even approach them. Once walking up to them, all we can mutter is something similar to "nice shoes," since that is what we are looking at while we deliver this idiotic comment.

Maybe everyone isn't as incapable as this example, but the point remains the same. Our dating system encourages us to improperly communicate our thoughts and feelings, largely based on the fact that we know whomever we are chasing after uses different means of communicating. We have Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Dr. Phil and all the other relationship gurus, yet a significant number of us fail miserably at dating and relationships.

Take my roommate, for example. She and her former coworker have obvious crushes on one another. Do they tell one another? No, they act like fifth graders, despite being in college, and ask their mutual friend if the other has a crush on him or her. And we all do it admit it.

More peculiar than the actual system of dating is how we came to ascribe to it. If given the option, why would any of us sign up to operate this way?

Prior to modern dating, courting was the way to find a mate. While courting would not be my preferred method of finding a significant other, I can at least understand and appreciate its methods. Intentions were clear and both parties knew what the objective was. Slightly backwards yes, but lacking in clarity, no.

How did we get to dating today? Who knows, but I'm sure it had to do with the women's social movement and youth rebellion. Regardless, here we are.

But I refuse to follow these norms, even though it doesn't always pan out for me. I try to be honest and straightforward, yielding mixed results. Sometimes it scares the hell of out my partner; however, it's a risk I'm always willing to take. If they can't handle my honesty and offer theirs in return, I "don't want none of that."

This method isn't for everyone and it doesn't have to be. Everyone should do what is best for him or her. As I told my roommate, she should pursue her former coworker and contact him if and when she wants to, although I did encourage her to be straightforward with her intentions. Hemming and hawing get few of us anywhere.

It is exactly this first indication of feeling that can be the hardest hurdle to overcome for some reason. Really, this is where we should act with the most speed.

Waiting those three weeks to offer up our lame shoe commentary could put us in contact a day too late. For all any of us knows, the love interest across the room could be swept off his or her feet at any moment by another schmoe with bigger cajones (and a shorter stall time) than us.

We may be young now, but time is beginning to tick by at a speedier pace. If time is not an issue, continue to use our backward, inefficient disaster of a dating system. For those, like myself, looking to score an actual date before the end of the month, buck the system and make your intentions known.