Smoking ban a drag

"Gotta light?"

It doesn't matter anymore [HTML_REMOVED] unless, of course, you happen to be standing in traffic or perhaps in a forest clearing.

The now iconic phrase that has dominated nightlife seemingly since the beginning of time has been put to rest.

Today no one will need a light.

The war on smoking appears to be going much better than the one on terrorism. At least the non-smokers of Washington have an official victory.

The voters have traded in an essential element in the nitty-gritty novelty of dive bars. In return, they hope to be getting healthier.

Dimly lit smoke-filled bars aside, the cigarette smack down is not only the end of public puffing, but it's also the end of an era.

Funny how something so deliberately harmful has received so much deliberate accommodation.

Smoking break anyone?

How about a quick cocktail break? Or maybe just a breath-of-fresh-air break?

Nope, you must be smoking a cigarette to step outside.

Then there are designated smoking areas. Too bad we can't give other bad habits their own areas [HTML_REMOVED] like bigotry, for example.

Fairness aside, the reality is that addiction has a place in people's lives. It has a schedule.

A schedule with demands; demands that will certainly conflict with the smoking ban.

Suddenly, that five minute mid-afternoon cigarette could be quite the challenge. Parking lots will soon be a smoker's sanctuary.

Or maybe they'll just sneak their drags in the bathroom stalls.

Welcome back to middle school.

Just imagine the mayhem during office building police raids and nicotine busts at the bar. It's bound to be a serious butt-kicking.

Then, of course, there's the case of the only-manager-on-duty, who is forced to sprint 12 blocks to the urban green space only to have a single desperate puff before sprinting back.

Before, she could just prop the back door open, keeping a sharp eye on her potentially thieving teenage employees, while taking a smoke break.

Now she packs running shoes with her lighter.

Let's not forget the poor non-smoking friend left to eat alone while everyone else frantically hunts for a spot to legally light up.

Looking for smoking locations will replace looking for parking spots as the number one reason not to go downtown.

Maybe "smoking lots" will be 2006's million-dollar idea. You can smoke within 15 feet of Nordstrom for only $5 a minute.

We obviously have a responsibility to ensure healthy public places, but don't we also have one to helping smokers get through their abrupt schedule change?

We have, after all, indulged their addictions to the point of routine.

"Gotta ticket?"

That's what will matter tomorrow.