It ain't good 'til it's over

At last, we arrive at August. And unless you're close to someone with an August birthday, chances are that this month will come and go without much fanfare. Blisteringly hot weather, no national holiday and a general humdrum seem to define this eighth month of the year.

August is indeed a summer month, but it always exists in the shadow of July barbecues and holidays. Even Neil Armstrong made sure to walk on the moon before August came around.

I'd wager that more of us will be bored in August than any other month of the summer. That's a shame, really. "Is there some principle of nature that states that we never know the quality of what we have until it is gone?" lamented author Herman Melville. Make the most of the month while it lasts.

Which leaves the question, what exactly goes on in August? The U.S. Open, I suppose, if you're into watching Andy Roddick try to take it all at Arthur Ashe Stadium. But that event starts Aug. 29 this year and most of the tournament spills over into September.

And so it seems that the mass media will follow in their tradition of scraping the bottom of the barrel for stories in August. The Senate isn't even in session, so John McCain can't surprise us with any of his "maverick" ways. In other news, Martha Stewart finishes her term under house arrest this month; no doubt we'll be seeing her making the afternoon talk show rounds.

There doesn't seem to be much happening at home, which makes August a great vacation month. Go somewhere far away and exotic, like Lithuania. Never been outside the country? Never been on a plane? No worries. Just remember Billy Bob Thornton's attitude, "I don't have a fear of flying; I have a fear of crashing."

No time or money for a vacation? Maybe you could see a movie. But it seems that August often gets the short end of the stick on summer movies. Most of the big blockbusters are released in July, and the Oscar contenders start coming out in September. Still, this August we have Wes Craven's new thriller Red Eye to look forward to.

If you're fed up from your summer classes or job by August, just remind yourself that other people have had it worse. Like Bill Clinton, for example: "Being President is like running a cemetery," he once said, "you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening." Besides, at least you're out there doing something constructive with your summer. You're taking charge. In the immortal words of Madonna, it's "better to live one year as a tiger than a hundred as sheep."

So don't feel down, my August-born friends. As was said to Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca, "Here's lookin' at you." August may be a relatively unremarkable month, but the atmosphere is ripe for change. As Coolio said, "Gather up your pity and turn it to ambition." Isn't it time that August had its own holiday? Take action, Leos and Virgos, and defend the month that is your birthright.

Oh, and happy birthday to Neil Armstrong, Herman Melville, Andy Roddick, John McCain, Martha Stewart, Billy Bob Thornton, Wes Craven, Bill Clinton, Madonna, Ingrid Bergman, and Coolio, all of whom were born in August.