Bush needs to review ABCs

As the tragedies of Hurricane Katrina play out across our television screens, it is difficult not to wonder if Bush and his FEMA cronies simply never attended elementary school. At the very least, little Dubya was obviously sick on the day his kindergarten class discussed the merits of saying "sorry," since Bush agreed to "accept responsibility" for the dismal federal response only after his national approval ratings dropped to record lows.

It is safe to say that this did not qualify as a genuine apology for the thousands of people, mainly poor and black, who suffered in Katrina's aftermath.

Most students in Washington State can tell you all about the WASL. Beginning in the fourth grade, this standardized test evaluates kids on their ability to perform at the necessary level, because being a student is a big job.

Recently resigned director of FEMA, Michael Brown, also had a big job to do. In fact, the mere description of his former position is overwhelming. According to FEMA's official government Web site, he was responsible for "leading federal disaster response and recovery operations and coordinating disaster activities with more than two-dozen federal agencies and departments and the American Red Cross."

This sure was a huge task, and all Brown had to do was get appointed by the president to spearhead it. Unlike Washington State's fourth graders, Brown was never tested on his knowledge of the job before he was nominated by his good buddy, President Bush. Not surprisingly, The Washington Post reported that the top three FEMA officials all had ties to Bush's 2000 campaign.

Maybe it is a bit unreasonable to ask FEMA to administer its own version of the WASL, but even a few multiple-choice questions would have been better than nothing. For example, the simple inquiry, "Which of the following is your job description?" may have been quite telling. It is a rather long description after all. Perhaps Brown just couldn't find the time to read it.

FEMA insider Leo Bosner even commented to CNN that Brown "took a job he was never trained for."

The folks at FEMA would also benefit from attending Career Day at an elementary school. This might clear up the apparent confusion at the agency over what it is that a firefighter does.

The Salt Lake Tribune reported that FEMA recruited roughly 1,000 firefighters to aid in the Katrina disaster by becoming "community-relations officers." FEMA thought these individuals, trained in medical and emergency response, would be well utilized by distributing 1-800-621-FEMA fliers.

As the death toll continues to mount, it is truly sickening to imagine a fleet of firefighters assigned to something as trivial as a PR stunt.

If the president can find any more vacation time, he might also want to consider attending Career Day. There, he might learn that the National Guard is meant to stay at home and aid in national emergencies like Hurricane Katrina, not spend time cleaning up messes in other parts of the world.

Above all else, it is vital for the president and FEMA to learn the virtues of responsibility, integrity and compassion. In dealing with this horrifying disaster, these are the lessons that will steer this country in the right direction.