Looking for Mr. Right?
September 28, 2005
I have known for years that I want to get married in the fall. I want it to be in my hometown and I want lots of roses. However, I have no idea who I am going to marry nor am I really even too sure what type of person I can see myself marrying.
The other day, one of my friends was telling me about an experience he had at a church youth group. The youth group leader was talking about dating and told his students that they should only date those whom they can see themselves marrying. If they do not see a future with the person, there was no reason to date them.
That statement blew me away and I simply could not relate.
Religion aside, this is not an uncommon way to view marriage and dating among young people. A large amount of the undergraduate population of UW is in the 18-23 range.
The National Center for Education reports that in 2003 the median age of marriage was 27 for males and 25 for females. Many students often express interest in marrying one to five years after graduation and much more express interest in marrying during the young adulthood years. This seems to suggest that those with such interests may want to start looking now
But what if the guy I like is not someone I can see myself ever marrying? Does that mean I have to dump him to find somone I view as marriage potential? If I followed that philosophy, how many dates would I actually have even made it to by now?
I am hoping to marry in my young adult years, but at 19 and only just about to enter adulthood. My dream wedding still seems very far away.
Through dating, I have and will continue to learn about other people, myself and relationships. But for now this is good enough for me.
It is often made to seem as if Mr. Right Now is an inferior choice to Mr. Right. Mr. Right may or may not come anytime soon. I'll welcome him when he does, but why should I actively seek him and no one else? There's nothing so wrong with seeking what's right for me right now.
Am I interested in companionship, fun and learning through dating? Yes. Am I looking for my life partner? Not quite yet.
Oh and one tip: if you can't get the roses for fall, I read that orchids are also a great fall wedding flower.
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