The 2006 Randoms

As 2006 draws to a close, it's only natural to reflect back on the year and the column-worthy events it's produced. So without further ado, here are my nominations for the 2006 Random Awards, given to politicians, actors, actresses and even inanimate objects for the ripples they've caused in our lives.

[HTML_REMOVED]Best Actor in a Drama:[HTML_REMOVED] This award goes to Al Gore, who took center stage in last summer's An Inconvenient Truth, telling Americans some uncomfortable things about global warming and the fate of our planet. He also appeared on Saturday Night Live to poke fun of himself, stating in an Orson Welles-like parody that rogue glaciers were attacking the United States. Thus far, however, Gore has shown no interest in trying to become Hero of the Decade, which he could achieve by throwing his hat into the ring for the 2008 elections.

[HTML_REMOVED]Most Unbelievable Apology:[HTML_REMOVED] This one's for Harry Whittington, the lawyer otherwise known as The Guy Dick Cheney Shot in the Face. Pretty much as soon as the shotgun bullet had been removed and he had recovered from the heart attack it caused, Whittington was apologizing to Cheney for the inconvenience. If there was ever a time to tell someone to go screw themselves, Whittington missed it.

[HTML_REMOVED]Biggest Event You'll Never Hear About Again:[HTML_REMOVED] Billionaire Warren Buffet donates more than $30 billion to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. We now return you to your regularly scheduled lives.

[HTML_REMOVED]Biggest Out-of-Control Mess:[HTML_REMOVED] The U.S. population, which recorded the birth of its 300-millionth citizen in mid-October.

[HTML_REMOVED]Biggest Sports Improvement:[HTML_REMOVED] The Husky football team, whose 5-7 season might be somewhat lackluster, but seems fantastic compared to the past two.

[HTML_REMOVED]Biggest "Thank Goodness it's Over": [HTML_REMOVED]The month of November, which gave UW students midterms, cold days, buckets of rain, flurries of snow and sheets of ice [HTML_REMOVED] not necessarily in that order.

[HTML_REMOVED]Best Supporting Actress:[HTML_REMOVED] U.S. Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), coasting on her new role as Speaker of the House, supported U.S. Sen. and Iraq War critic Jack Murtha in his bid to become Speaker of the House, even though she must have known Murtha didn't have the support from other Democrats.

[HTML_REMOVED]Best Sports Scandal:[HTML_REMOVED] The 2006 Tour de France, which could be alternatively known as the best and worst week of American cyclist Floyd Landis' life. Landis won the Tour after one of the most dramatic comebacks in the history of the race, only to test positive for dope practically as soon as he stepped off his bicycle. The only thing that came close to challenging it was the 2006 World Cup and French soccer star Zinedine Zidane, who closed out his career by head-butting an Italian defender in the final moments of the victory match.

[HTML_REMOVED]Best Sporting Event: [HTML_REMOVED]The 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy. Even without figure skating star Michelle Kwan, the Olympics were awesome. Enough said.

[HTML_REMOVED]Biggest Online Sensation: [HTML_REMOVED]YouTube.com, which was bought by Google in October for a cool $1.65 billion.

[HTML_REMOVED]Best Gadget with the Worst Name: [HTML_REMOVED]The Nintendo Wii, which was released for public consumption just before Thanksgiving. How do you pronounce it if you've never heard the name? "Why?" Actually, it's "Wee," as in, "I'm going to go home and play with my wee."

[HTML_REMOVED]Best Political Gaffe:[HTML_REMOVED] There are many to choose from, but the award ought to go to the U.S. Republican Party as a whole. How did they screw up? Let me count the ways: There was U.S. Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) who was busted for illicit e-mails with underage pages, Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) who lost his job after being embroiled in the Jack Abramoff corruption scandal mess and Rep. Bob Ney (R-Ohio) who had the dubious honor of being a member of Congress awaiting a jail sentence for charges of conspiracy [HTML_REMOVED] and still refusing to resign his seat until the beginning of November.

[HTML_REMOVED]Worst News Event:[HTML_REMOVED] Britney Spears and Kevin Federline file for divorce. Why is this news? Who cares? And seriously, who didn't see it coming anyway?

Blythe Lawrence: blythelawrence@thedaily.washington.edu