Walk a mile every day

Around noon this Friday on Pacific Avenue in Tacoma, you'll find men walking a mile wearing heels, proudly.

Whatever you're guessing it is, it probably isn't.

The men in stilettos and sequins are actually part of an awareness/fundraising event sponsored by the Sexual Assault Center of Pierce County and the Walk A Mile In Her Shoes campaign. The joint effort works to raise the level of awareness behind men's sexual and physical violence against women by literally putting to practice the adage "put yourself in someone else's shoes."

While the image of grown men walking in women's shoes is immediately humorous, the message and cause behind it speaks to perhaps the most widespread social problem in America -- the crisis of men and young boys perpetrating sexual and physical violence on women and young girls.

Indeed, the crisis is so widespread that some studies estimate at least one in three women have been beaten, sexually assaulted or otherwise abused in their lifetime.

Another study reveals that at least one in four college women report that they have been victims of near or completed rape. Of those women, four out of five were victimized by a boyfriend, friend or acquaintance.

For women, the issue of violence by men isn't anything new.

From day one, freshmen women are advised --- and rightly so -- to take precautionary steps such as never leaving their drink unattended at parties and never walking alone at night.

Yet for men, things like rape, battering, and sexual assault against women -- things that describe, in every sense of the word, a social problem (considering its pandemic scale) -- are said to be specifically "women's issues."

As anti-violence educator Jackson Katz argues, even saying "it's everybody's issue" avoids its very gendered nature. If men commit the overwhelming majority of violent crimes against women (and men), how does this not become a men's issue that men have an obligation to stand up to?

Let me be very, very clear on what this column is not: This is not male bashing, and this is not chivalrous paternalism towards women.

Foremost, this is basic human rights and dignity that we, as human beings, need to ensure for all people.

Secondly, this is an issue of challenging the misogynist American rape culture that idiotically and chauvinistically -- and I emphasize the idiotic part -- blames female victims for all things ranging from date rape and battery to street harassment.

Hiding behind the patriarchy of "she shouldn't have worn this/said that/had too much to drink/led me on/that's her job" is essentially saying there is some scenario in which a woman deserves to be sexually or physically assaulted.

Need an example?

We saw that with the Kobe Bryant case years ago. We're seeing that right now with the Duke University lacrosse team.

There will never be a situation in which a woman deserves to be sexually or physically assaulted. Ever.

But even under the reclassification of these problems as "men's issues," many men still believe that because they themselves don't personally commit acts of violence, they are without responsibility and have done all that is needed.

Though many men do not commit these acts of violence against women themselves, it is the moral obligation of all men as brothers, sons, fathers, friends and members of this very university to engage daily as responsible human beings. Challenge the rape culture of blame against women, speak up even when it's not popular to do so and refuse to sit idly by when you know something isn't right.

In other words, walk a mile in her shoes.