Batting for both teams: How some bisexuals find themselves stuck in the middle

American society has a strange obsession with labels of all kinds. In these politically correct times, everyone apart from an increasingly obscure standard of the “norm” is assigned a label and cause, as if being anything other than a WASP is a cross to bear.

There seems to be this compulsion in society to define people by their sexuality, through a strange and narrow-minded dichotomous classification. You’re either “straight,” “gay” or somewhere in between.

It’s the much-maligned “in-between” that consistently evades comprehension from the general populous. There are so many myths and misconceptions about bisexuality that have, for whatever reason, made it acceptable to ostracize this particular cross-section of our über-labeled people.

I was talking to a co-worker not too long ago who told me that she didn’t believe in bisexuality — people either like one sex or the other. This is mind-boggling to me. Would anyone have the audacity to tell someone who said they were gay that there was, indeed, no such thing as homosexuality? Of course not. On the same token, it wouldn’t be appropriate to tell someone who identifies as straight that “everyone’s at least a little bit gay.”

Obviously it’s the norm to identify as straight, and it’s increasingly more acceptable to identify as gay. I find as a bisexual male that it’s a significantly different battle. As someone who does indeed find members of both sexes appealing, it’s appalling how closedminded most girls are toward the concept of dating a bisexual male. When I’ve asked girls if they would be open to dating a bisexual guy, most of them were hesitant. What, I asked them, is your rationale? Responses were ignorant at the least and flat out phobic at the worst.

One common theme I’ve heard from girls is this fear that a bisexual boyfriend would likely cheat on them with a guy. Let me put this to rest: When I’m in a relationship, regardless of the shape of my partner’s genitalia, I have no intention of cheating on him or her. When I’m wholly committed to someone, I don’t think about others I find attractive. Your straight boyfriend is just as likely to cheat on you with another girl as your bisexual boyfriend is to do the same with a guy.

A lot of girls have this irrational fear that they are more likely to contract an STI from a bisexual guy than from a straight guy. STIs are not confined to one particular sexual lifestyle. Yes, HIV is prevalent in the homosexual community, but most people infected with HIV/AIDS are males who identify as straight.

My favorite response is that it would just be “weird” to date a bisexual guy. There’s this prevailing doubt in girls that leads them to believe they could never provide everything that a bisexual guy is looking for in a sexual relationship. This is almost the same as declaring that there’s no such thing as bisexuality — in making this leap, you’re assuming that the same bisexual guy could get everything he needs from another guy, which would make him, well, gay.

Unlike the labels “straight” and “gay,” which are both entirely one thing or another, bisexuality encompasses a broad spectrum which is incredibly hard to define or assign a set of stereotypical attributes to. Basically, people fear what they don’t understand. If most people are either straight or gay, then bisexuals are in an intangible and indistinguishable minority.

Here’s a solution, folks: Let’s just not define one another by our sexual preferences. When it comes down to it, a relationship is between two people (unless you’re into other things — but that’s a different story). If there is an understanding and mutual attraction between those two people, nothing else should matter.