Putting the passion into the party

Meet Mr. Big: He’s tall, realistic, popular — and loves to give.

No, this isn’t Carrie Bradshaw’s love interest from Sex and the City, but one of Babeland’s many dildos.

Available in chocolate or vanilla, Mr. Big’s appeal includes his realistic appearance (veins and all) a flesh-like feeling, and his ability to please anyone who can handle him. Made from cyberskin, a porous synthetic material with a velvety feel, he is among the many sex toys you can find in-store at Babeland and at passion parties.

Danalynn Sattler-Doyle, an independent consultant for Passion Parties Inc., said these events are more than just parties featuring sex toys or getting the lowdown on sex tips.

“[It’s] about building relationships, because people are busy [and] miss out on being a partner. [We] bring that to people, teach people how to care about each other,” Sattler-Doyle said. “Products [are used] as a tool to help re-ignite people. [It’s] not just about products.”

Passion parties vary depending on the company. Sattler-Doyle holds them exclusively for women while Babeland tailors its parties for anyone. Some passion parties try to educate their clients about their bodies and the potential risks that come with being sexually active.

“When I do any parties for younger women, colleges, I stress monogamy,” Sattler-Doyle said. “We’re in a society nowadays where you really have to be careful about choices you make. … There are some who are in relationships who don’t know about their own bodies. … It’s about both of you enjoying the relationship together. … Young women shouldn’t be doing things they don’t feel comfortable [with].”

Passion parties allow women to feel more comfortable about asking “awkward” questions from the safety of someone’s home, Sattler-Doyle said. You also get to explore all the sex toys and books available to you without feeling gawked at.

“It’s kind of like a Tupperware party,” said Jessica Wilson, a UW junior who attended a passion party during her freshman year. “[It] happens at [a] host’s house, but there’s a salesperson with the items, … items being dildos and oils and lotions.”

While some parties feature gag toys, the one Wilson attended was more businesslike.

“They were serious,” Wilson said. “Some of the girls already had some and brought them out to share. They talked about techniques and gave you hints.”

However, there is plenty of fun involved.

“It was about girls hanging out and playing games … and looking at stuff,” Wilson said. “Go to a passion party if you’re invited. … It’s not just about sex. It’s about hanging out with your friends and laughing about the awkwardness about sex.”

Passion parties also include items besides sex toys. You can purchase books and bath products while learning more about yourself — and even about your friends.

“It’s a party with a purpose,” Wilson said.

For those who prefer to make their pleasure purchases solo, sex toys can be found at various sex shops in the Seattle area.

Babeland employee Kristie Metcalf advises customers to buy silicone-based toys since those are nonporous and can be easily disinfected either by boiling or simply putting them in the dishwasher. Although more expensive, they are definitely more durable.

Babeland sells a variety of toys for use by men, women and couples that are affordable to all — even college students.

For example, vibrating rings and bullets (small vibrating devices) are available for under $20. Babeland also features massage oils and candles for under $20.

Babeland employee Ashley Allen recommends the “Blueberry Buzz,” a dildo made of hard plastic that gives strong vibrations, for beginners. The “Hummingbird” has low frequency vibrations and includes a cupping spot for the clitoris or G-spot.

Then there’s the Orchid G for $22. This is a vibrating dildo with a large, angled head to pinpoint the G-spot for added pleasure.

What’s the difference between a dildo and vibrator you ask?

A dildo is anything that is phallic shaped and a vibrator is anything that vibrates, Metcalf said.

But then there’s the vibrating dildo.

For those who have extra cash to spend, “The Cone” is popular among couples, but be ready to shell out $130 for it.

“The Fleshlight” is also on the pricier end at $80. Babeland brochures describe it as a “Clever Penis sleeve” that “has been hailed as the ultimate male masturbation.” It’s available as a pink mouth or a realistic mocha or vanilla colored vulva.